


V-nikiforov (Not sponsored)

by Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, It's Ice Suprise!, M/M, Oreos, Other, Skaters never die, Snippets of other fandoms, otayuri - Freeform, viktuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10074005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti/pseuds/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti
Summary: Who knew the prix finals was going to be this slog?Victor didn't.Yuuri helps him.





	1. :0

Twas the night before the grand prix final, when all through the rink, not a skater was skating, not even a mink. The skates were hung by the rails with care, In hopes that **St. nikiforov soon would be there.  
**

The skater bois were nestled all snug in their skates, while visions of oreos danced in their heads. And Victor and her Yuri, and I behind my computer screen. Had just settled our brains for a long ..wait for it… LOVE BEANSSSS!!!

“You’re not invited to my queen teen meme morphine sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party!” Yuri whined.

“No Yuuri please, I can change for you!” Viktor yelled, frowning.

“Consider urself UNFRIENDED NOOB!!!!!”

 

“SNAP BACK TO REALITY, OH! THERE GOES GRAVITY! Oh, there goes Rabbit.com, he choked-” 

Viktor’s eyes widened as he caught himself skating on the ice in nothing but his DJ PJs. On the middle of the rink was a table, boosting up a neatly stacked tower of Oreos. A smile endorsed his lips as he remembered why he was here in the first place. He had been skating for the past 4 hours, **attempting to warm up his Oreos**.  
Somewhere along the way, he had drifted off into deep thoughts of Yuri Plisetsky rejecting him, not allowing him to go to his queen bee dream morphine sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party. The thought of it broke his heart.

He allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment, taking in the sounds of his blades scraping against the ice, creating friction to warm up his beloved. He gasped, slapping himself internally. No! Yuuri was his true love, not the Oreos! 

Tout la coup, Victor’s eyes met Yuuri’s.

“Y-yuuri, nani wh- why are you here?!?”

Yuuri made a face which is confused.  
“Why are you skating?”

“It’s the n-new oreo! I have to skate to warm it!”

“Is it icecream flavour?” Asked Yuuri

“Yosh.”

The two skater bois skated around the oreos. Their skates lit ablaze with the true power of 1000 suns. Viktor could feel the energy surging through his body. He glanced over at Yuuri, wondering if he could feel the same. However, he knew that the Oreos needed much more than this. It still wasn't sufficient enough.

“WE NEED MORE POWER!” Victor screamed over the loud noise of wind forming a tornado.

From afar, Yuri peered out his window. His eyebrows furrowed violently at the awfully loud noise coming from the skating rink. He knew that the skaters would sometime practice late at night, but he was pretty sure that it had never gotten to this point. Otabek sprung up from Yuri’s princess pucker pink power beauty bed, pushing aside the sheets. He grunted, and Yurio only answered with a shrug.  


There was only one way to find out.

Snatching their individual coats and sprinting out of the hotel room that they had rented for some glue peeling asmr, they headed towards the direction of the booming sound. The change in wind only added to their confusion. As they got closer to the building, they found it hard to breathe. He saw Otabek open his mouth, but the words got lost in the gushing wind.

“For fucks sake.”  
“ONWARDS!!!!”

Clenching his jaw, he dashed towards the building at the speed of Kageyama Ritsu and Rei Ryugazaki combined. Otabek followed along, trying his best to catch up with him before he disappeared from his sights. 

“Tactical Hot Wheels Motorcycle activated” Otabek screamed. He summoned his trusty vehicle from mid-air and hopped on. Eventually, he was able to catch up with the blond. 

It didn’t take long until they reached their destination. They struggled with moving, but were able to shuffle over to the door. They stared at each other in silence, and Otabek nodded.

”That's the way uh huh uh huh”. Yuri opened the door to find two men skating at the speed of light, circling around an object hidden by the shadows and debris flying around. The place felt like a Sunny Side up Sausage Sauna, and it then struck him what was happening.

Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov, two adult men, were skating furiously to warm up their Oreos. 

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!” Yuri Yelled. Victor and Yuri couldn’t hear him though.

“If you can’t beat em, join em!” Otabek grabbed Yurio and jumped into the fray. Yurio frowned, but reluctantly joined in.

And so, the four skated around. They pointed at the sky, reciting an ancient phrase. 

“One kiss to the ends of the galaxy!!!  


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLbrrxN5mH0&t=2s

“ICHOOOO!!!!! YOROKONDE!!!!”  
“YATTAAAA!!!!”  
“Hey where’d you get that oreo from?”

Tout la coup, Yuuri a une idee!(Suddenly, Yurri thought of a idea!)

“EVERYBODY DO THE- WHAT THE FUCK”  
BOOOOOMMMMMMMM

-Yuuri woke up to a cracked ice rink with milk and dead ppl everywhere.  
Yuri’s eyes fluttered open, the spring breeze febreezed all over les corps (the bodies)  
. 

“Les corps…” Yuuri whispered, suddenly realizing that Otabek and Yuri’s lifeless bodies laid on the ice. That didn’t matter though, only Victor mattered to him at such a shocking time. His eyes darted around the rink, Victor was nowhere to be seen.

“No way…”

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. owo

“No way…”

Desperately grabbing around, he pushed himself up and stumbled around. Axe body spray was present in the air, and Yuri was resisting the urge to whip out his Febreeze air freshener Lilac ver. 

Suddenly, two figures emerged from the smoke.

“Prepare for trouble”  
“Make it double”  
“To protect the world from devastation”  
“To unite all people within our nation”  
“To denounce the evils of truth and love”  
“To extend our kisses to the end of the galaxy!”  
“Jesse Mccree!”  
“Jamison Fawkes!”  
“Team JR Unicorn blast off at the speed of light!”  
“/ff now or prepare to fite”  
“Nya” Mowed Yuri  
“Ye boi”

“If a man has no sauce, then he is lost,” Viktor’s voice boomed, “but the same man can be lost in the sauce”

“VICTOR WHERE ARE YOU! COME BACK VICTOR COME BACK BOI, WATER COME A ME EYE!”  
“I CAN’T I'M BUYING OREOS”  
“WELL HURRY UP AND COME BACK!”  
“I CANT FIND EM”  
“WHAT DO U MEAN U CANT FIND EM”  
“I CANT FIND THEM THERES ONLY DEZ SWEET KICKS”  
“WHAT DO U MEAN THERES ONYL DEZ SWEET KICKS.”  
“IT MEANS THERES ONLY DEZ SWEET KICKS.”  
“THEN GET OUT OF THE SWEET KICKS ISLE”  
“ALRIGHT U DONT HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME”  
“THERES MORE SWEET KICKS”  
“WHAT DO U MEAN THERES MORE SWEET KICKS”  
“THERES JUST MORE SWEET KICKS”  
“GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE”  
“THERES STILL SWEET KICKS”  
“WHERE R U RN”  
“IM AT DEZ SWEET KICKS”  
“WHAT DO U MEAN UR AT DEZ SWEET KICKS”  
“I MEAN IM AT DEZ SWEET KICKS”  
“WHAT STORE R U IN”  
“IM AT THE SWEET KICKS STORE”  
“Y R U BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SWEET KICKS STORE”  
“FUCK YOU!”

“Jays on my feet Jays on my feet”  
“Juju on that beat”

Yuuri’s drugs wind down and he comes back to his senses.  
“Tos’ were sum sik shroomz dawg” Said Otabek, popping up from a pile of wood.

“YOU’RE ALIVE!!”  
“Staying alive staying alive, ah ah ah yeah”

“What the fuck is going on, the cruelest dream reality!” Yelled Yuri, popping up from a pile of hay.

Yuuri spotted Victor dying on the ice. Shocked, Yuuri dashed towards him in tears.

“Victor senpai-sama-chan-can-sensei! Are you desu!!?!?!?”  
Victor, half awake, parted his lips.

“Go to the fucking oreo…” Then his eyes shut.

Victor didn’t need to repeat himself for Yuuri to jimmle the kimmle to the 1 remaining Oreo.  
The Oreo was soaked from cookie to filling with milk, but that was ok, he went to the fucking Oreo.

Yuuri looked back at Victor, still dead, and screamed.  
“DESU NO!!!!!” He screeched and grabbed the oreo.

Yuuri flew to Victor and shoved the Oreo down his esophagus 

**(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ”SKATER BOIS NEVER DIE!”/(.□. \）**  
**Victor’s body raised up and** turned a radiant gold colour. He was now currently immune to all damage and the previous debuffs prior to the ultimate was erased. Mercy cried in the corner.

 **ლ(´ڡ`ლ)“Ze yo Oreo!”ლ(´ڡ`ლ)** (Only Oreo!)  
  
  
  
we're all waking up now  


ċ  
**Ћэċқ їŧ їŧ ŏŭŧ{Ћэřэώэ ġŏ)**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 to the 1 to the 1 to the 3


End file.
